Fancy a game of Poling?
Current Song in Head: Sitting, Waiting, Wishing, Jack Johnson
The exciting sport of Poling, not to be mistaken with its Olympic cousin pole vaulting or the process of casting your votes (polling), draws its roots from the brutal 8th century post-war ritual. The victorious side would get to toss their opponents into the air and spear or ‘pole’ them.
With the modernization of the world, a more humane stand has been taken towards these ancient barbaric sports. Even the kicking of an enemy’s beheaded head has become the world’s favourite sport (except in the US of A) and Poling is no different.
Today’s form of Poling has been toned down a notch or two. Gone are the days where a post-Poling game requires a day’s work just to wipe the blood off the ground. These days, only tears and a little bit of sweat have to be cleaned up.
The following picture shows the game of Poling in progress. The Polers (usually 5 to 6 of them) would hoist the Polee up and systematically ram the Polee’s gonads into the Pole. Timing is crucial in this sport. A mis-timed rammed could mean that the intended target is missed. As a result, a Timer is often appointed in the group. The Timer’s role is very much like the drummer’s role in a dragon boat team. The Polers would ram the Polee whenever the Timer gives the timing to.
The exciting sport of Poling, not to be mistaken with its Olympic cousin pole vaulting or the process of casting your votes (polling), draws its roots from the brutal 8th century post-war ritual. The victorious side would get to toss their opponents into the air and spear or ‘pole’ them.
With the modernization of the world, a more humane stand has been taken towards these ancient barbaric sports. Even the kicking of an enemy’s beheaded head has become the world’s favourite sport (except in the US of A) and Poling is no different.
Today’s form of Poling has been toned down a notch or two. Gone are the days where a post-Poling game requires a day’s work just to wipe the blood off the ground. These days, only tears and a little bit of sweat have to be cleaned up.
The following picture shows the game of Poling in progress. The Polers (usually 5 to 6 of them) would hoist the Polee up and systematically ram the Polee’s gonads into the Pole. Timing is crucial in this sport. A mis-timed rammed could mean that the intended target is missed. As a result, a Timer is often appointed in the group. The Timer’s role is very much like the drummer’s role in a dragon boat team. The Polers would ram the Polee whenever the Timer gives the timing to.
Teamwork is also an important factor in this game. More often than not, the Polee would be uncooperative, which is why it is essential for the Polers to work as a synchronized group.
Besides the Timer, the next most important role in a team of Polers is that of the Lead Man. The Lead Man is tasked with taking aim at the pole. Should the Polee’s gonads miss the Pole, more often than not, it is the fault of the Lead Man. Therefore, it is essential for the Lead Man to have a good vision and an eye for the balls.
A single round of Poling would end after the Polee either starts screaming for his mummy or faints (whichever comes first). When a round is over, the Polee would become one of the Polers and would nominate the next Polee from the existing group of Polers. After doing so, another round of Poling can begin…
Thengz was anal-probed by aliens at 9:43 PM
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